I often wonder if I cut off my ear like Van Gough would someone notice My ART would I be applauded or ridiculed. Artist think differently than most people. In this day and age of multi media I feel swallowed up like Jonah and the whale. Trying to find my path and my light and somedays it just gets dimmer and dimmer. Faith I have to have faith! I’ll save my ear for another day!
Oh my goodness! I turn 50 May 16th half my life is over ! I have been reflecting on so many things! All the friends that I have lost at young ages so many people I have known who did make it to 50! and for that I give thanks. I looked in the mirror thank God I still have a full head of hair and I am not obese. I looked up what was going on the year I was born 1965 Muhammed Ali defended his heavyweight title,The Rolling Stones released I can’t get no satisfaction, there was no internet no space shuttle no microwaves no cell phones we didn’t even have a color tv the year I was born. I am grateful and I am thankful in 2015 that I made it to 50!! now go paint.
Lately I have been watching the great old musicals on TCM what great ART the costumes the sets the make up the lighting all just Fabulous! I wish I could transform some of the images into a great piece of art. My Etsy store is up and running but I have sold a piece yet as I say God opens doors as I look for a new job, and career so I can continue to fund my art and my home. Never give up I say! but I am closing down my cooking blog to save money. Hollywood Land they used to call it until the Land part of the sign fell off and now it is just Hollywood the land of dreams and memories of great movies. Peace!
Feeling BLUE my ART is just not inside me this week. I cant pick up the violin without crying. My Cleaning business is in shambles! I don’t even know why I keep up the website for it. Just at a loss emotionally, and physically and spiritually ! but ask and it shall be given I just hope hope some doors open up to me soon for my artistic ability and for my life at almost 50! Thinking I will paint an all BLUE work of ART.
As I approach 50 in May I realize a new Season of my life will begin the last half of it. I so look forward to growing old. It is a privilege denied to many. I lost so many friends at such young ages. I look forward to new ART, and to continue my violin lessons, and to laying in the sun by the pool. I look forward to the next season hoping it is filled with new friends, and adventures, and stories to tell. As Spring begins so does a new Season in my Life! Peace!
I wish I could go back in time. Back where I was sitting across the table from my Father talking about the weather about life I wish I could go back in time and finish college. I wish I could go back in time and have Japanese food for the first time with my Mammaw. I wish, and hope my ART and my stories take notice. I wish and sometimes I wish for nothing.
I have no shame saying I believe in God! I believe in Hell, and I Believe n Heaven. I believe in evil, and I believe in good. I start every morning praying to my God my creator asking for guidance and love in my heart and abundance and joy and guidance.
Especially in my ART some of my ART has been created when I had lost touch with GOD, and some of my ART has been created in his presence for without a creator looking over us from in us upon us how can we really reach out spirit the spirit within that flows through us and our ART through the spirit? I am not perfect. I have so many self doubts so many self wants so many self hates but the one hope I have is that the God that created me created me for a purpose, and I hope it is to share my ART for everyone. I sit and wonder I sit and pray I sit with my eyes closed to darkness and despair and when I realize my self worth and my Art my eyes glow and are full of love and hope and the future. Art for everyone! a world without art is nothing. and some souls without ART are dead.